Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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