Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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