I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
