if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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