just come out here and I will go home with you...
if only i could text you this smell
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
