S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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