Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize
