I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
