I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
