Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
