Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
