Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just tell him i said nine months
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize