is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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