But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
