You really coming over, don't trick.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
