this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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