As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
