Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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