And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
