I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
