if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
