are you so shy because you have an std?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
