he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
