Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i came on her dog
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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