well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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