I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you inspire me to be a worse person
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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