Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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