my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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