How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
