these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
