Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
