Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
