All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
