I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
