would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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