this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
