Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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