dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
