i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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