his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
