that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
