she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
