I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
