Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
