i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
