I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
A+ Viking dick
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