he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
