i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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