Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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