Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
